Oil and Water
by Emerald Ryuu Feather
Summary: You'd think going to talk to the Inquisitor would be a simple matter when they're single. You'd be wrong. Bull finds out a few of his Boss' secrets and gets to explore the possibilities after getting electrocuted and healed by said elf. Warning hermaphrodite Inquisitor. M for sexual content


A/N: So…. Yeah, I got bored. As you may know if you read other works of mine, that's never good. So I got to thinking and well, this happened. What if the Inquisitor was everything the Qun would seem to frown on? Yet still got involved somehow with Bull. Well now we'll find out how my twisted mind thought that may happen. Well, The Inquisitor is mostly male, mage Lavellan. He flirts with Bull knowing he's the only pansexual male in his Inquisition. And cuz it's fun to make heads turn in shock and confusion.

Summary: Bull walks in when the mage is trying to let off steam, and is playing with himself. Learning the elf's most jealously guarded secret. Lavellan is not completely a male. Some mayhem ensues. After an awkward discussion Bull extends an offer the mage can't let pass up.

Warning: Smut between a he-she/hermaphrodite/what other verb/nouns preferred and Iron Bull. Bondage and stuff.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned at least a little idea but alas, earwax.

Title: Fire and Oil Don't Mix.

It was early but Bull needed to see the Inquisitor. The Dalish had offered to talk if he needed it and now he definitely needed to at least get the elf to spar with him and shock him. Or hit him with his stick. When Bull knocked as he opened the door he hadn't expected to catch the mage sprawled on his bed legs spread hands between his legs one stroking what looked to be an aching boner and the other more than likely filling his ass with dexterous fingers. The red hair was splayed over the bed with the mage's head flung back those lips parted and those eyes closed in bliss, that frown of concentration and pleasure furrowing his brow. Then the closed emerald green eyes snapped open and looked at him. For a moment Lavellan didn't see Bull but his magic lashed out at the sudden shock and Bull fell to his knees as the lightening shot through him.

"Fuck!" He cursed eye snapping closed then the Inquisitor snaps out of it and sucks in a shocked fearful gasp. A rustle of the bed cloths and suddenly Sardis, the Inquisitor, was knelt before Bull still bare but worried. He healed the damage he'd done shaking as he slowly relaxed realizing he had done nothing that wasn't easily fixed.

"I… I'm so sorry Bull." Sardis exhales and runs both hands over his face then through his hair. That's when Bull notices what Sardis hid with armor and some clever tricks. The very feminine curves of his body and the fact where yes, Sardis had a good sized cock for an elf his size, he had no balls. It clicked instantly for Bull. Sardis saw the realization dawn in the Bulls eye and flinched back quickly turning away as he stood to grab a blanket and pull it around himself.

"You're a hermaphrodite?" Bull asks not sure if he'd seen right. Sardis flushes and looks away shame burning on his face and in his eyes as well as pouring from the way his body curled as if to protect itself. Sardis nods.

"Yes… I'm a freak. The only reason I'm not dead is because I was taken in after being left in the woods. Didn't stop the other children in the clan from finding me repulsing if they figured it out." Sardis hissed vehemently. Bull stays where he is. He weighed the options in his mind. He could either ask the other to spar and see if that helped, talk with the mage or offer another way to pass the morning. He decided third option because that one offered a relief for both of them. That and he'd be damned to let the Inquisitor torment himself when already under so much pressure.

"You know… I've gotten the hints, you realize the flirting wasn't very subtle. I know you flirted like that on purpose." Bull states and the Inquisitor drops his head to his knees staring at Bull with a worried expression. He looked away. Bull smirked at the minor victory. Then Sardis sighed.

"Yeah? It wasn't meant to be. Why be sneaky about shit that'll never happen? Please Bull, just… I don't care about anything so long as no one else knows. I talked with Varric about it because… Well Varric's Varric, he's fine with anything but eating babies. He showed me how to hide the curves." Sardis sighs curling in on himself tighter. Bull cautiously stood and walked over to sit on the bed near Sardis.

"You know I swing both ways?" He asks and Sardis flinches and looks away. He nods curling tighter on himself and Bull thinks he hears a sob. He pulls the squirming elf into his lap and Sardis' breath stops.

"Wh-what are you doing Bull?" Sardis hisses and flushes as Bull gently pries the blanket away from him. Sardis looked scared but Bull just gently let his hands start to explore the elf's skin, not touching what he could now tell were very small breasts, nor low enough to be near the other's groin. Sardis was flushed a pretty pink and hung his head watching the large hands pet him feeling his cock ache as he realized Bull could easily snap him in half. Sardis squirmed and feeling how hard Bull was looked up in surprise.

"You like… This?" Sardis asks gesturing at himself and when Bull grins and chuckles as he lets one hand go down to rub at the second little hole and Sardis jerks, hands clutching at Bull's arms as his eyes closed. Bull Smirked at feeling how wet the elf was, from both old and new stimulation. Sardis wiggled and bit his lip and looked up at Bull.

"Are you going to go past teasing me?" Sardis asks hesitantly uncertain of why the encounter had taken this turn. Bull decided to offer his 'services'. He leaned back slightly and prodded at Sardis' pussy never fully penetrating with his finger, his palm rubbing the reawaken cock.

"Maybe, but first some rules, it gets too much for you, you say Katoh, and I stop, no questions asked." Bull states and Sardis bites his lip again looking slightly nervous he nods then gasps and leans forward to rest his head on Bull's shoulder panting and body shaking around the single digit suddenly in him. Bull was happy to find one finger had gone in with little resistance since Sardis had been playing earlier. The elf had actually gotten up to adding his pinky, though he knew it was nowhere near enough.

"G-got it." Sardis whispers shaking then crying out and rutting against the finger in him as it taps the spot in him that made him melt. He relaxed shivering as his mind was momentarily wiped. Bull smirked realizing the elf was sensitive as well as a virgin. His other hand skimmed up the shaken elf's side then to the small breast to twist and rub and pinch at the elf's rosy sensitive nub.

"A-ahn! B-bull, I… Please?" Sardis asks tugging at the ash skin's pants flushed across his neck and ears now as well. Bull chuckled as he leaned down and kissed the mage as he teased a second finger before pressing it in next to the other. Sardis whimpered at the burn of the stretch but did not say the word. Sardis tugged the belt and pressed down.

"You want more? Or you want me naked?" Sardis bounced lightly panting and flushing as he met the lustful look sent his way. Bull was equally thrilled by the way Sardis looked at him. Sardis jerked and moaned shaking and bit the Qunari unable to hold back

"Can't you strip then give me more? Or is it I can look but not touch?" Sardis gave Bull a cheeky though breathless grin. Bull stood deposited the elf on the bed and stripped then smirked at the wonder on Sardis' face at his size.

"Will it fit?" The elf asks hesitantly looking very unsure of himself. Bull shrugged.

"That doesn't matter, if it doesn't we find another way." Bull states simply and Sardis nods in acceptance letting the Bull crawl over him A soft kiss later he was panting as Sardis hesitantly reached up and ran his hands over Bull's throbbing cock. Testing a theory Sardis let a soft short burst of electricity and moaned as Bull added a third finger in retaliation. Sardis thrashed biting his lips as his face went scarlet and he stroked Bull using a grease spell he knew so he could slick the cock.

"Please, fuck me?" Sardis asks thankful Bull pulls away his fingers and grabs his knees to keep him open and spread for what was next. Bull prodded at first before gently pressing and pulling back until slowly he started to work deeper into the near faint elf. Sardis' whole body was shaking and the soft noises he was letting out were driving Bull insane. The hitches in his breath the soft noises of both pain and pleasure.

Sardis felt the word at the tip of his tongue, a bitter taste in his mouth, but didn't say it. He could take the pain, especially when given a sight something like Bull looking ready to fuck him senseless. Bull on his part was surprised how uncomfortable Sardis looked from the stretch he was sure was painful yet the elf was not using the word. Bull smirked, and groaned as he decided now that he was partially in any way to press and Sardis gasped as Bull pressed. Sardis arched and that both made it easier and made Bull groan at the wanton behavior.

"Fuck! So, tight, yeah, just like that little elf." Bull groaned and Sardis flushed as he arched up and rolled his hips again. His thighs were shaking and he felt weak but then Bull pulled away. Sardis growled glaring then was on his knees and his chest was pressed down and again he felt the burn of Bull filling him to his shattering point.

"Oh Creators…" Sardis whimpered and gave in letting the wash of being taken drown him. He let everything slip away and felt clean, truly clean. He shook and cried out and moaned. When Bull started to go harder Sardis didn't think the word only Bull's name and begs for more.

He felt wreaked and he was so close it was border line agony. He was begging Bull he realized somewhere in his mind, and when Bull caved Sardis felt the rush of warmth then the splash of it against his ass as Bull pulled back. Sardis had cum a while ago but it was different for him, he didn't have a milky looking release. He had balls, but they were not visible, he'd checked with healing magic and had blushed. He pushed himself up with arms that felt like rubber and rolled onto his back shivering at the brush of silk against his sensitive skin.

"That was… Well I can't feel my waist down, but damn, so worth it." Sardis jokes breathlessly a light grin on his face. Bull chuckles his panting mostly under control. He stands finds a bucket of cool water and a rag near the bed for when Sardis finished playing with himself. Bull snickered at the elf's blush. Bull cleaned the elf smirking as the elf passes out. He was surprised how the elf looked. All muscle and lean power. The elf was a beauty.

"Please stay Bull. I… I'd rather not be alone right now. Not after everything going on." Sardis says sitting up arm half extended that innocent face twisted with worry and fear. Bull had gone to leave and it had instantly awoken the elf. Bull reluctantly laid next to the elf who curled against him with a sigh of relief.

"Ma serannas. " Sardis sighs relaxing for a while basking in the feeling of something solid. Bull had become a center of Sardis' reality quickly; the large Qunari basically gave Sardis a reality check with his presence and let the man sleep easier. When the sun finally did rise Sardis woke pleased the grey giant was still with him. He stretched and gave a whine as everything ached. Bull chuckled and stood helped the Inquisitor dress then Sardis was making his rounds.

No one asked why he limped, no one even questioned the dark love bite on his neck. Nor at the next game of Wicked grace did they question why the elf let Bull tug him into his lap. Sardis was genuinely smiling and that was enough for them. Though they did question why Sardis started having morning sickness. Well, except Solas who tried to keep a straight face when around Bull. Especially after a dragon fight and Sardis had been hit by the tail in the chest and nearly killed.

Bull didn't care, he did feel sad he had had a child, but when Sardis had freaked out and admitted he hadn't known Bull had believed him. The fact the elf had damn near died if not for Solas preoccupied Bull more than a child not meant to be. Sardis had confided once back at the keep he had thought he was infertile, sterile, but had always wanted a family, having never felt that way in the Clan unless the elves his age were gone. The bond formed quickly, soon the elf started to use terms of affection in elvish. Then Sardis surprised Bull.

"So what you wanted to talk about?" Bull asks as the elf sat back down, though his shirt was still off in one corner or another. It had been a while, and Bull had been careful to keep to certain body channels after the pregnancy incident. Sardis fidgeted and was about to talk when Cullen came in. Sardis' heart stopped as Cullen flushed had held up his hands to block the view as he turned his head. Sardis knew when Josephine walked in next she saw his curves and other feminine attributes and he quickly brought up his knees to hide as Cassandra walked in. He heard Bull say something about Fuck but was in shock and fear.

"I trust this was a momentary distraction?" She asks Sardis felt hot anger flash through him and stood forgetting his physical appearance. He blushed as both Cullen and Cassandra notice but doesn't care, nor when a few passing guards manage to catch a glimpses.

"It is not momentary and Bull and I plan to continue. Is this a problem?" Sardis stood his ground though the fact he was bare chested was bothering him he met that surprised gaze and dared her to say otherwise. She accented it wasn't and then the three left. Sardis sat back down and let his face drop into his palms. He couldn't believe his War Council and now all the guards would know.

"You alright?" Bull asks sitting up. Sardis looked up and tried to fake a grin. Bull wrapped his arms around his elf loosely as Sardis sighed before answering.

"I think we blinded Cullen, severely damaged Josephine's mental state and thoroughly disturbed Cassandra. I'm just scared how I'll get treated now that all the guards will soon know and everyone else is bound to find out to." Sardis sighs talking about his 'difference'. Bull understood why, most people found anyone like Sardis a disgusting abomination.

"Well, before you wanted to talk, what about?" Bull asks gently bringing the elf to a better topic. Sardis smiled kissed Bull then moved away to grab the two necklaces. He sat again slightly nervous. Bull's eye widened but he wanted to make sure.

"What is that?" Bull whispered, and Sardis gives an uncertain smile.

"A dragon's tooth split in two. So no matter what we'll be close to one another." Sardis says hoping he was right. When Bull grins Sardis' relaxed and melted as Bull kissed him gently.

"Not many people surprise me, Kadan." Bull says kissing Sardis again, but this time it's deeper, more through. Sardis melts and as Bull presses him back into the bed Sardis recognizes he doesn't know the term.

"Kadan?" Sardis asks as Bull's hands trail down his frame, tugging off his pants. Bull meets his eyes and smiles slightly a soft blush.

"My heart." Bull whispers and Sardis feels his chest ache in relief.

"Ma emma lath." Sardis answers smiling at the surprise and sudden understanding, then Sardis is content to forget it all as Bull takes him like he hasn't since before they found out it was possible for Sardis to get knocked up. Sardis is thankful this time it doesn't repeat. He wanted a family, just not while an insane Darkspawn bastard was tearing the world apart.

A/N: So I thought to go a bit more emotionally deep I don't know… Anyway I want more Bull out there so eh. Spreading the love.


End file.
